Singlehood can become especially glaring when it seems like everyone around you is getting engaged, married, or starting serious relationships. It makes you wonder why you’re single. Or maybe you think you’ve done everything you should do to find love but somehow it never works out. That’s okay too. Let’s look at some of the reasons why you’re still single.
You Don't Have Time For Love.
I know it sounds debatable. “Riana, how can you say I don’t have time for love when it’s the exact thing I want?” I’ll tell you how. Relationships require work, elbows-deep kind of work. Half measures won’t cut it. So, if you’re not actively making time to engage in the development of a relationship, you may not get it. Are you turning down matchmaking efforts by your friends and family? Do you make time to go out? When someone shows an interest in you, do you shut it down or encourage them? You’ve got to be available for love.
You Have Unrealistic Expectations
It’s not uncommon to hold the people we love to higher standards than we would others. But even then, setting unrealistic goals for the person you want to be with may reduce your dating pool to almost nothing. There’s nothing wrong with having standards. In fact, in my classes, I stress not settling. You should have standards, however, be realistic. Does a man really have to be 6’3 with an annual income of $250,000? Must she have an MBA from an Ivy League college simply because you do? You need to figure out the most important traits you want in a partner or open your mind to all the ways those traits could exist.
There are tons of ways to meet people now. Are you limiting yourself to the places you frequent because your parents met in church and your best friend met her partner at the gym? There are blind dates, speed-dating services, and online dating is a thing now. Don’t be afraid to join dating apps. Get yourself out of your comfort zone. Even if you don’t meet your future partner, you can gain new experiences and make new friends.
You're Holding On To The Past.
If you’ve been burned in the past by a person you loved, it can be hard to trust people’s intentions or give love a chance. It may sound untrue because you think you’re seeking love, but have you taken the time to evaluate how you’re going about it? Are you constantly making excuses for not showing up on dates? Have you run away from a partner because they were moving too fast (even though they weren’t)? You need to resolve the issues of your past and let go of them if you want to move forward.
You've Not Met The Righ Person.
At the end of the day, none of these things really matter if you haven’t met the right person. That’s a valid reason for being single. If you’re putting yourself out there, engaging people with an open mind, and navigating the dating world smartly, then it’ll come in due time. Enjoy yourself, focus on being the right person, and eventually, the right partner will come along.
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Riana is a Global Certified Life, Dating & Relationship Coach, CCTP, LMHC, LCADC, CAP, SAC, Certified Mindfulness Coach, Educational Speaker, and #1 Bestselling Author.
CLICK HERE to find our more about Riana and her work and how you can create the life you desire and have the love you deserve.
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