Codependency is a situation common to relationships where both partners are emotionally, physically, mentally, and/or spiritually dependent on each other in a manner that is unhealthy. While it’s not limited to romantic relationships, it is most commonly spotted in people who are romantically involved. Depending on a person for something isn’t all bad. However, when you’re codependent, your reliance on them or theirs can be linked to one or more of the following:
Inability to set healthy boundaries
Absence of self-worth
If you want to know whether or not you’re codependent, here are a few questions to ask yourself:
Am I Overly Dependent On My Partner?
A great way to prepare for a healthy and productive argument is to plan for it. Try to find the right time to raise your argument. Think about what you want to say. Thinking ahead will help you during an argument to make your point without attacking your partner. Finding the right time also makes the other person more willing to listen.
Am I being emotionally, financially, or physically abused?
Do you feel withdrawal symptoms when you’re separated from your partner, such as overwhelming sadness or anxiety? Are you capable of making decisions independently or do you need them for everything? There’s a difference between seeking their opinion and depending on their guidance on all things.
Is my partner struggling with an addiction and how am I handling this?
Is your partner dealing with an addiction to drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, etc? If you’re staying with an addict who isn’t taking actionable steps to be better, you’re an enabler. How do you deal with your partner’s addiction? If you’re going out of your mind trying to keep up with the behaviors that come with their addiction, you could be codependent.
Have I ever been called codependent?
If you’ve ever been called codependent, there’s likely some basis for it. Evaluate your relationship based on the previous questions and, if you’re very honest with yourself, the answer will be in front of you.
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Riana is a Global Certified Life, Dating & Relationship Coach, CCTP, LMHC, LCADC, CAP, SAC, Certified Mindfulness Coach, Educational Speaker, and #1 Bestselling Author.
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