Ever wondered how people seem to know more than you’re willing to let on? Or thought about what someone meant when they say you have a “tell”? Almost everyone has a way of conveying feelings and thoughts without necessarily using words. That’s body language speaking. It’s a most deafening kind of silence and mastering this art will prove useful in navigating your day-to-day interaction with people with clarity.
If you’re trying to find love and actively dating, you can decode the sincerity of a person's words and actions by studying their body language and thus save yourself confusion and heartache down the line. Here are some simple ways to understand body language:
What Do Their Eyes Say?
It’s often said that the eyes are windows to the soul. I couldn’t agree more. When you’re with a partner or a love interest, you should study how they look at you. Do they make eye contact often or do they avoid your eyes? A person who is genuinely interested in you would maintain eye contact naturally because they find you interesting. If they’re avoiding eye contact at all costs, they’re probably uncomfortable or hiding something.
Keeping A Distance.
How do you relate with someone you barely know? You keep a comfortable distance, to respect your personal space as well as theirs. Doesn’t it then look weird if someone you’re meeting for the first time is all up in your personal space? Maybe they put their hand over your shoulders, force your bodies to touch, or even kiss you. All without your permission, if I may add. Such a person may be trying to communicate that they want something physical as soon as possible. In the same way, if your partner is creating physical space between you without any explanation, it could be the result of an emotional rift that has occurred.
This one works quite well when you’re out with a prospect. People communicate a lot with their gestures. In listening, for example, if your date is nodding, making gestures, or responding verbally to what you’re saying, then they’re enjoying the conversation. If they’re distracted, unresponsive, and stiff, they clearly aren’t interested. Understanding gestures can also help you stay aware of the vibe you’re giving off to the other person. Other gestures that can be easily interpreted include:
Tone- a flat voice can mean that the speaker is bored. So, even though the speaker is responding to you, they’re not very interested in what you’re saying or doing. A clear tone, on the other hand, depicts attentiveness and delight.
Listening sounds- vocal fillers like uhm, mmhm, yeah, okay, really show that the listener is engaged.
Hand gestures- many people often use their hands in addition to words to pass a point. This happens when they’re engrossed in conversation. So, if your date is using a lot of hand gestures, they’re most likely enjoying the conversation and having a good time.
Understanding body language is great not just to see how other people are reacting to you, but to also help you control your reactions to others. So if you’re in this dating game, just as you’ve learned how to read what people are saying with their bodies, I hope you’ve also understood not to communicate with your body.
I approach others with love, respect, and acceptance.
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Riana is a Global Certified Life, Dating & Relationship Coach, CCTP, LMHC, LCADC, CAP, SAC, Certified Mindfulness Coach, Educational Speaker, and #1 Bestselling Author.
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