Life is busy by design. There’s so much to do at any given time, so much so that taking breaks is scheduled for a specific time of the year and given a fancy name, “vacation”. No matter what stage of life you find yourself in, there’s a seeming urgency to do more to appear successful; put in more hours at work/school, make more money, and keep up with everything and everyone.
To live well, we’re expected to be in constant motion physically and/or mentally. But what happens when you’re overwhelmed and need to pause? Mindfulness is what helps you to give your mind a break from distractions, to give way to awareness and peace.
Mindfulness is the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we’re doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around us.
How to Achieve Mindfulness
Meditation is the key. Meditation is the process of trying to achieve mindfulness.
Often, when people hear meditation, they think about travelling to Asia to live with monks on a mountain, but it doesn’t have to be such a life-altering event. Without making any drastic life changes, you can master meditation and, consequently, mindfulness. If you’re open to achieving mindfulness, then you need to start by taking the following steps -
1. Make out time - meditating to achieve mindfulness has to be deliberate. You need to set aside a specific time in the day for meditation. Make sure it’s a time when you feel less anxious and you aren’t likely to be disturbed. Your journey towards meditation is very personal to you. So make it something intimate for yourself.
2. Keep a soft gaze - you may close your eyes softly or simply soften your gaze so that you’re not staring at anything in particular. Keep your eye muscles relaxed.
3. Don’t focus on the environment - re: the Asian mountains: Your environment is not as important a factor as you think it is. People will tell you to meditate in the dark, in the morning, on your patio, with candles etc. They’re not necessarily wrong. But you don’t need to be in a specific setting to meditate. So if your favorite time is on the train going to work, then do it then. The key is to stay aware of your situation.
4. Be comfortable - regardless of where you choose to do your meditation, make sure that you’re comfortable. You may choose to stand, sit or lie down. It’s up to you. If you’re uncomfortable, you may get distracted easily.
5. Just let go - don’t force your mind to stay on one thought because you think that’s what meditation requires. Allow your mind to go where it wants but stay focused and present through it all. You may find yourself pondering over small details that you think are unnecessary. Regardless, allow your mind to ponder, but always remember to come back to the present moment. So long as you return, your meditation is a success.
I hope that you recover the connection you've lost with your partner. And if you've never felt this deep connection, I can't wait for you to discover the sheer power of it.
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Riana is a Global Certified Life, Dating & Relationship Coach, CCTP, LMHC, LCADC, CAP, SAC, Certified Mindfulness Coach, Educational Speaker, and #1 Bestselling Author.
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